What does the archive say about men's mental health?

One of the biggest barriers is stigma. Many feared judgment or misunderstanding, making it difficult to seek help. Accessibility to resources and finding the right kind of support can also be challenging. Supporting a loved one with mental health challenges is about listening without judgment and encouraging professional help. Be present, offer empathy and remember it's a journey you're walking together. They're not fixing for them. It was about 15 years ago. I remember sitting on the couch with Christy, my wife. At that time I was really dealing with a lot of overwhelm just in life in general. I had learned to cope with a lot of these mental health challenges and some of these insecurities, really just masking them. I masked them really well with alcohol. It was also a way for me to just ignore life in the moment.

I was treating it like a sport and I wanted to get better at it. I really wanted to deal with these challenges that have been holding me back in life and I guess that's the thing right. Loved ones can hold space for us, they can be present for us, they can even support us in getting the help that we need, but they can't do the help for us. There's got to be some space there. So, anyways, supporting the loved one with mental health challenges is about listening without judgment so remember that right and encouraging professional help. I recommend starting with small, manageable steps for everyday mental health, self-care, practice, mindfulness or meditation, even just for five minutes a day. You know there's great free apps like Insight Timer that have all these different time domains, different styles of meditation.

The first share happens, and then another and another, each share building on the last, building trust, understanding and connection among us. We often end our gatherings by asking a question what's our biggest takeaways? And the answer we hear again and again I'm leaving feeling better than when I arrived. By embracing vulnerability, men find more happiness and fulfillment in life, and we've all found more than two friends to share the highs and lows with along the way. My journey to becoming a better man started over a decade ago. But how would I now answer Christie's question Die, are you being the type of person you'd want your daughters to marry? Yeah, I am. Vulnerability helped me get here. I've come to realize that vulnerability isn't just a woman thing, vulnerability isn't just a man thing. Vulnerability is a human thing, thank you.

And I was on Instagram and one of my friends, shay. She posted some stats on male suicide and divorce rates, where divorce is initiated or 70% of divorces are initiated by women and I started just going down this rabbit hole of some of the stats with regards to men's mental health. And it was. I went down the rabbit hole at first out of curiosity, but then I was looking for answers for me because at that point in time, nobody would have known it on the surface to look at me, but there were days where I was having suicidal thoughts and even Jenny Lee, my partner, wouldn't have known. And it's like Carl, you're a personal trainer who's doing an awesome job with his clients and I have amazing clients. I've got amazing friends, amazing brothers, an amazing partner with Jenny Lee. I've got the podcast going, which was a dream of mine and it's going well, and I'm doing what I love.

In our society, vulnerability often gets a bad rap, especially among men. There's this unspoken rule, this cultural script, if you will, that's been handed down through generations, telling us that men need to be strong, stoic and, quite frankly, unflinching. We're taught to equate emotional openness with weakness, often to bottle up our fears and doubts, and we often hear terms like man up. But let me tell you, this approach comes at a cost a cost to our mental health, our relationships and a cost to our overall well-being. In this talk, I dive deep into why embracing vulnerability is not just courageous but necessary for all of us, men included. It's about breaking down those barriers that we've built around ourselves, barriers that we sometimes don't even realize are there. It's about understanding that being vulnerable doesn't diminish our strength. In fact, it amplifies it.

No alcohol, no drugs, no drama, no coaching or counseling allowed, no hidden prescriptive words of advice, no one needing to be fixed, because nobody is broken. Simply a group of men coming together to share openly and honestly, without the fear of being judged or having what they share used against them. Oh yeah, and most importantly, the higgest rules apply. What happens at Mentorship Mondays stays at Mentorship Mondays. We open every gathering with a question it's alive and real for you right now. Then one man speaks at a time, sharing what keeps him up at night, sharing the good, the bad and the great, creating a space that's safe and trusted, where we can share the conversations about the wins, the struggles, the challenges we all work through, like obstacles, with health, money, career, and along the way, something magical happens. We realize we're not so alone, seems.

Most men after the age of 35 can count on one hand and actually fewer fingers in one hand how many significant relationships that they feel comfortable enough with another man to even talk about finances, about life, about mental health challenges, just really the significant conversations that we're all thinking about in our head. And when I read that I was like holy smokes, I'm one of those dudes and I don't like this. And so my question to you because I know that is a huge underpinning of just your philosophy and how you support men is this idea of meaningful connections. But you also speak about this idea of becoming your best version and this transformational journey that we can all embark on as men and as fathers.

Just give it a try until you find one, as well as regular physical activity, a balanced diet, an adequate sleep are foundational, and never underestimate the power of connecting with others, sharing your feelings and seeking support when needed. And man, I'm talking to you Find a men's group, really find one. They're so powerful and so needed, and it's wonderful to get around a other group of men that are modeling and mentoring one another through these challenging conversations. And you know what the cool part is Rising tides raise all ships and I've always encountered in these men's groups that everybody benefits from that relationship and showing up and everybody sees improvements. It's really powerful to know that. You know you always leave that gathering feeling better than when you got there. I have something exciting I want to share before we wrap up.

Just over half the men surveyed said they had two or fewer close friends they could talk to about something serious. One in eight said none. Originally published on LinkedIn on 11 March 2020 and republished here with light editing only. FIG. 01 Half of men have two or fewer people they can say anything to. For the men out there, do you believe these common cliches? The following list is from an article on TheNest.com. Whether you buy into the cliches or not, not every man fits the mold. As men, we have the ability to define ourselves any way we like. We are brothers, sons, fathers, husbands, but more importantly, individuals aspiring to be the best versions of ourselves. And yet, why do we not connect more on the challenges we face in life?

There are communities to plug in to as a man and they are appearing more and more throughout the globe. This is a movement and one that can change the conversation around what it is to be a man. But why not take the conversation one step further. As men, we can create the space for us to explore what it means to be a great man. Fortunately, there is a growing group of incredible men gathering together weekly to explore, discover and define what it means to live as a great father, a great husband, a great brother, a great son. A great man. Deep connections, conversations, and camaraderie. One removal. The original closed with an invitation to a weekly gathering that is no longer running in that form. The survey finding above is the checkable part and it still stands. The 2% Solution. Play it here, with the full transcript on the page.

In 2018 a coach asked me what I wanted for my life. I had made a career out of asking other men that question, and I could not answer it. FIG. 01 Two nights, three days, one notebook. In 2018 one of my coaches asked me what I wanted. Not for dinner. Not which series to put on. What I wanted for my life, and from it. I had nothing. I sat there, a man who had made a career out of asking other people that exact question, and I could not answer it. It was the first time in about five years I had not been sure. That is the part I want you to sit with, because it is the part men get wrong. I was not lost. My businesses were fine. My marriage was good. My kids were healthy. I was in decent shape. By every external measure I was doing well, and I still could not tell you what I was aiming at. You can run a long way on momentum before you notice you have stopped steering.