How do I be a more present dad?

That's not you time. I look at that bonus time yeah doesn't every guy though. Yeah, but, yeah, but. But that's not you time. Be intentional, be open with your family and say, hey, dad's going to do this today or this afternoon or tonight. I'm going to step out for about 20, 30 minutes and I'll be back. As long as you communicate that and you make a plan, it'll be good. So just quick reflection Be comfortable being in discomfort, seek understanding and ask questions. Surround yourself with people who will hold you accountable and then make a plan to be purposeful. I freaking love this Cam, like I said, so clear, but also and again I'm going to use the term simple, because I'm not going to say easy because you're absolutely ready to take commitment and you've got to follow through right Like, at the end of the day, you still got to take action and do things forward. You know and.

Same thing with these mentor I can get him just doing some exercise or movement, fun movements or things like that, and they'll open up more, you know. But if I'm just like, hey, tell me about this bullying situation going on school, well I don't want to talk about that. But the more they trust you and the more they're actually doing something else where it doesn't feel quite that much pressure of that, I think that's another tip for the parents out there. If you can get your kids or take him out you know that's my, that's the key to my son's heart right, taking him out to eat and beating him it opens up. Just find what your kids interested in and get them where it's not quite as awkward though, where they feel more open and honest with you sitting down. I think that's about you. You've done a great job with your son.

So any last words you'd like to leave us with today, brent, before we go? Be better tomorrow because of what you do today. Thanks, brent, appreciate you being here, man. Much love to you and your family and I'm excited to have you back in the next couple of months. Oh man anytime. That wraps up our enlightening conversation with Brent Fowlelin, the visionary behind the FowlableMancom and the FowlableMan podcast. Brent's journey and the wisdom he shared today are a testament to the power of embracing our vulnerabilities and turning them into strengths. His actionable advice provides a blueprint for anyone looking to make significant strides in personal development and lifestyle enhancement, For today's episode inspired you.

So you may have to stoop down and look to them eye to eye, which in turn like when I, when I first started doing that, it was like okay, no, I'm serious, I'm getting down to you, your level but then also notice that within that, I have to bring myself down to their level frequently to get a level of understanding, because I know that they're not adults, so I can't expect for them to understand like an adult at all. Well, I have to be like okay, this is a child, Put yourself in the place of a child, because we were children before, and then be a little bit empathetic towards their limited understanding. So that's the way. That's the way I do it. It's like come on, man, you were 10 before you know how this works. You know like you were. You were a 10 before. I can't remember that far back dude. Well, yeah, it's like my eldest.

I just felt so happy for you and also it for myself. Just thinking about my own kid, it brought up a lot of those same feelings, for I have for my own daughter. No, I just want to say thank you for being vulnerable in your Content but also sharing what's going on in your life. Sure, yeah, cuz you and I shared talked about the. The two most effective ways Most of us learn is through modeling and mentorship. Yeah, how many of us have a great mentor in our lives, or lack thereof? Sure, but modeling modeling what other people are doing, and I think you're doing that very well. You're modeling what you're doing, how you're showing up, and it's just given another example of what's possible or how we can do things differently. Yeah, and that's so huge. When you see, hey, they can do it, I can do it, that is so big, that's been in my life.

And so I remember walking in my doctor's office and I'd had on down low middle of the day, had a mask up over my nose, and he just looks at me. My doctor's about my age, has kids the same age. He's like how are you doing? And I just looked at him. I couldn't die. I couldn't respond to him. I had nothing in like I. I just started to well up, my eyes started to well up. He's like you're not good, are you? I'm like no, he's like there's nothing anatomical about what's happening, nothing like what you are experiencing right now stress related, what. What is going on? What are you trying to balance? So I just like to my doctor, who's a medical doctor, not a psychologist and so I just like here's everything that's happening. He's like, okay, here's what's going to happen, I'm going to put you out, I'm putting you out on medical leave.

Every now and then I'll see a post from one of the kids, cause he used to be a youth minister, and so every now and then I'll post from one of the kids that I was a significant factor in their life growing up and I look at it long enough to go. That's awesome. My issue would be great and that's about the level. That's right. That's it Moving on right. And this comes from my background in training, in physical training, and one of the things I learned a long time ago is you only have so much when you walk in the door at the gym, right? You understand this concept really well? Yeah, right, if people want to put it in their head, think of walking in with a milk jug in your hand, a full milk jug. You walk into the gym and you take a pin and you punch the hole in the bottom of the milk jug when you walk in the door. Dude, that's what you got, that's it. When it's done, you're done.

How do you teach others to lead their kids, your wife, people in your community, and so for these guys to come in and say I have a structure and I'm going to follow it, these are the things that I'm going to commit to and then have accountability to do, that is really important. And I'm not saying everybody has to get up at 4.45 am. I did that for a period of time. Didn't work for me, but it works for some people. You don't have to be the 5 am club. You don't need it, sleep till eight. But if you're going to be sleeping till eight, just make sure you're effective. And with the time that you have, it's when we stew and we don't have a plan and we don't have a purpose, because when we don't have a purpose, it's really hard to keep pushing forward.

The beta it advertises is long closed. It is here as a dated record of where this began. FIG. 01 Where the project started. IF you are a dad over the age of 40, then read on. If not, no worries, feel free to share this message with someone that may fit the profile. I'm looking for 4 more dads to beta-test a program that I've developed over the past 3 years. The #DadBodyProject. As a dad, husband, brother, friend and community leader, I know all too well how challenging it can be to try to fit it all in. As men, we're often pulled by careers, family, community, and our own dreams and ambitions. That's life. And it's beautiful. And yet. We often have a tendency to put our health and wellbeing, our self-care, on the back-burner of life. Not just the physical, but the emotional, psychological, and spiritual parts that make us who we are.

Weight settles around the middle. The fuse at home gets shorter. None of it is dramatic, which is exactly the problem. It is slow enough to explain away for a decade. And the industry these men turn to was not built for them. It was built for 25-year-olds with disposable time, selling intensity, novelty, and before-and-after photos. A 47-year-old father of three does not need intensity. He needs something he will still be doing in March. The culture treats the dad bod as a joke, or occasionally as something to be proud of, and both reactions let everyone off the hook. Here is what it actually is: the physical record of ten to fifteen years of putting yourself last, written in the only ledger that never lies. That framing matters because it changes the job. The job is not to get shredded, and I will not sell it to you that way.

You aren't really thinking about being healthy or the like, rather you are just BEING. That's the difference between goal setting and lifestyle shifting. One method is great for gauging progression, but the other, it's just about living life as it is. As your best version of you, because deep down you know, 'I got this!' Then connect with me to get an overview for what the Dad Body Project journey entails. Note: this is not a free offer, it will require a nominal investment along with your time and energy. It will require work, but as challenging as it may be, I guarantee what you achieve will be worth it. Originally published on LinkedIn, 7 June 2019. Republished here unedited. Seven years later this is still the work, with better tools. If you are the man this was written for, MERGE60 is where it happens now. The 2% Solution. Play it here, with the full transcript on the page.

The men who hold onto progress are the ones whose plan survives a bad week, a work trip and a sick kid. Consistency at 70 percent beats perfection you abandon in week three. The 2% Solution. Play it here, with the full transcript on the page. The least exercise that actually does something, and the part everyone leaves out. You have done it five times. It is not discipline, and the fix is unglamorous. Seven years ago I went looking for four dads over 40 to test an idea. What it became, and what it refuses to promise.